Hey Pastors! Lick MyBalls or REPENT for teaching others to be hypoPRICKS!
It's About Time someone with balls
I'm Pastor Jimmy Fucking Powers! GOD called me to rebuke the lukewarm and perverted church!
About The Truth Has Come
Empower Your Journey
Its about time Pastors Preach to open your home to strangers and love them as yourself!
Its about time pastors preach the whole gospel and to STOP JUDGINGPEOPLE!
I am the worlds first comedian Christian Pastor that uses funny things to help pastors see how they need to stop being judgemental hypoPRICKs!! This is obviously a JOKE site. There is nothing sexual on this site. They're metal magnetic balls. God called me to tell the world it's not a sin to say the F word or is it a sin to trick pastors into licking metal balls.
Everyone loves a good roast! It's time to roast those heresy preaching fools that love to judge others! Pastors hate me and especially hate how I trick pastors into licking metal magnetic balls.
They don't understand why?
I say lick MyBalls or REPENT!
I'm rebuking them using MyBalls as a pun to the world but pastors JUDGE my motives are evil.
The joke is on them. First they judge my middle fucking name and then judge my calling.
I'm called by God to use the same words Jesus used to the religious legalistic pastors of HIS day.
Pastors!
You're teaching others to be twice as much of sons of HELL as you are!
You know Billy Graham said he thinks 80% of all Christians are going to HELL if they don't repent?
God told me to write a book that leads Christians to Christ.
Jesus said
I was hungry and you didn't feed ME
I was naked and you didn't clothe ME
I was sick and you didn't care for ME
I was in the Brevard County jail and you did not visit ME
I was a stranger and you did not open your home to ME
The next verse says
You are a goat and are going to HELL!
THE ULTIMATE DECEPTION
Wheat or Tares?
Sheep or Goats?
My book teaches the RIGHT way to heaven.
Why do you call ME Lord, Lord, when you do not do the things I teach?
To open your homes to strangers is huge to GOD!!
THIS IS HOW YOU LEAD SOULS TO CHRIST
Open your home to strangers and love them as yourself. It's so simple and nobody wants to obey this and do not obey this.
Pastors do not preach and obey the two greatest commandments and the law of Christ!
They only teach half the truth. Which makes them all half ass christians. Lower case c on pupose.
I saw many people getting saved in my home over the years all because I opened my home strangers. And loved each one as myself!
The Church says no to strangers sleeping on their couch or in their spare bedroom!
The NO it all church
Ask any pastor or Christian for $20
No
How about $10?
No
A dollar?
No
Can you give me a ride?
No
Can you do a favor? And call my mom to help her see she can't take my SSDI money as my payee! She robbed me of over $50,000!
No
My ex wife owes me 5% of the gross sales from my custom curtain company. Every month she should pay me several hundred dollars and she gives me zero. Can you call her and help her see her wrongs? She robbed me of over $60,000!
No
I don't want to get involved.
No
Can my friend put a tent in your backyard for a few days?
No
Can you loan me some money and then say you don't expect to be paid back?
Nooooo
They say NO to all!
The NO IT ALL CHURCH
And every time I meet a pastor they judge me.
Their judging is what they are know for.
STOP JUDGING OTHERS, PASTOR DICK!
Lick MyBalls or REPENT!
God is using MyBalls to shock pastors into repentance. God is so funny. When I tell a pastor God gave me an invention that will lead others to repent. They get excited and happy. Then I show him a pair of MyBalls and tell him my slogan.
Hey Pastors
Lick MyBalls or REPENT
They always judge me. No more happiness
Ohhhh God would never call a pastor to TRICK other pastors into licking metal magnetic balls!
Oh how WRONG they are to JUDGE me like they do. Everyone in the world loves MyBalls and my unique way of rebuking pastors of HERESY!
Pastors don't preach many things.
They don't teach to open your homes to strangers!
And love them as family. To love them as yourself.
I have hundreds of testimonies of strangers moving into my 5 bedroom pool home over the years.
To fully obey the Two Greatest Commandments that not one church on planet earth teaches!
Love your neighbor as yourself and open your home to strangers!
You will never hear about a group of Christians that obey open your homes to strangers.
Visit the sick elderly in nursing homes.
Visit those in the county jail.
They call themselves Christians but most are actually TARES!
The Tares don't care
The Tares don't share.
God sent over 100 strangers to live in my 5 bedroom pool home over the years. All because I surrendered my home to HIM!
AND I WANTED TO FULLY OBEY HIS HOLY WORD!
FEED THE HUNGRY
CLOTHE THE NAKED
OPEN YOUR HOME TO STRANGERS.
NOBODY OBEYS THESE!
Why not I ask?
GOD CALLED ME TO REBUKE THE LUKEWARM AND PERVERTED CHURCH IN JESUS NAME using funny things like metal magnetic balls.
It's not a sin to ask pastors to lick metal balls.
The world loves MyBalls and the PussyPouch.
PussyCatPouch is for the kid's. It's a sin to say pussy or fucking around children.
99% of all pastors and Christians drive by the homeless people and judge them.
They teach their children to judge them and not have compassion. Shame on them!
They lie saying the person will spend it on booze or drugs. That's a blatant lie. I have interviewed hudreds of homeless people in researching for my book. And 70- 90% of them don't drink or do drugs. They would spend it on food and clothing.
The Gavels of the church JUDGING THE POOR and closing their hearts.
I taught my 3 boys to stop and give them cash and bring them home if God tells me to.
Whatever we do for the homeless person, we do for Jesus!
God only speaks to those who obey. For twenty years people always asked me why I'm the only Christian that is always bringing strangers and homeless people into my home?
Yeah. Why? Why doesn't every Christian obey open your home to strangers?
Pastors don't preach and OBEY these things.
Fucking hypocrites!
I rebuke you in Jesus name!
Stop LYING to your church and family that they all are drug addicts and alcoholics. Don't give them cash. They will spend it on booze or drugs.
They JUDGE them and have no idea what they spend it on!
I assume they will buy food and soda.
Christians assume they ALL will buy booze and drugs. Their judging stops compassion and closes the wallets and hearts.
It's Jesus standing there on the side of the road. Jesus is hungry and naked and wants to sleep on your couch.
Whatever you don't do for others
You don't do for Jesus!
Christians never stop and pick up a homeless person and bring them home. Shame on them!
Pastors need to repent for teaching others to judge. I interviewed hundreds of non church going people and asked them what they think about born again Christians?
98% said the same exact words
THEY JUDGE US!
THEY LOOK DOWN THEIR NOSES AT US!
THEY SUCK. TELL THEM TO SHUT THE FUCK UP WITH THEIR RELIGION AND LEGALISTIC EVERYTHING!
THEY TIP THE LEAST
THEY ARE RUDE AND IMPATIENT
THEY TREAT OTHERS LIKE SHIT!
THEY JUDGE AND CONDEMN US!
WE HATE THOSE FUCKING HYPOCRITES AND WILL NEVER GO TO THEIR CHURCH OR ANY CHURCH!
THEY JUDGE. THAT'S WHAT THEY DO!
CHURCHES ARE BREEDING JUDGEMENTAL LEGALISTIC HYPOCRITES!
I'm Pastor Jimmy Fucking Powers here to rebuke you using MyBalls!
First I trick pastors into licking MyBalls which are not testicles. They are metal balls.
Then I sell them on this site.
Sold in pairs with free velvet sack
$19.95 a pair.
$10 more if a pastor picked them!
Who doesn't want to own a pair of MyBalls
Who doesn't want to own a pair of MyBalls that a pastor LICKED?
The last 12 churches I went to, they judged me and treated me like shit. I'm a pastor called by God to tell pastors the RIGHT WAY to heaven is to fully obey the Two Greatest Commandments.
AND THEY ALL JUDGE ME!!!
I AM TELLING THEM TO REPENT AND START PREACHING THE WHOLE GOSPEL!
In Luke Jesus told the lawyer to love your neighbor as yourself if you want to have eternal life!
NOBODY PREACHES AND OBEYS THIS!
Hey Pastors
Didn't you say it's OK to own slaves?
Were you wrong?
Of course you were.
Then didn't you say segregation was OK?
Were you wrong?
Of course you were.
Then you said dancing to Elvis was wrong. It was sin to dance to rock and roll
Were you wrong?
Yep!
And now do you tell people that saying fuck is wrong? To say fucking, pussy, ass and many other words, you say it's wrong.
I got news for you. It's not.
You were and are wrong again!
I got you by the balls! MyBalls!
In the end days it's time for the world to judge you! With MyBalls.
Hey Pastors!
Lick MyBalls or REPENT for teaching others to be hypocrites like you wre.
ORDER YOURS TODAY!
$19 95 a pair with free velvet sack.
$10 more if a pastor LICKED them!
Who doesn't want to own a pair of MyBalls that a pastor LICKED.
Cashapp me the payment to
$JimmyFPowers
Free shipping on all our products. Usually ships in 2 or 3 days.
Thank you for supporting the greatest roast of pastors since Martin Luther!
Hiring pastors to lick metal balls is funny. And loads of fun!
I start by telling them what we do.
We sell metal therapeutic balls and need you to make sure they won't shock our customers. Have you ever taken a 9 volt battery and touched it to your tongue, and it shocks you?
We need you to test our balls the same way. Just by touching the tip of your tongue to the balls. If it shocks you, place over here. If they don't shock you, place in a velvet sack over here.
I'm Pastor Jimmy Fucking Powers called by GOD to tell pastors to repent for teaching others to be judging hypocrites like they are.
Because 80% of the men are a DICK TED ED TO PORNO, ADDICTED
God gave me the coolest invention to get pastors to repent.
MyBalls that a pastor licked.
Hey Pastors
Lick MyBalls or REPENT
For teaching wrong things to good people. Repent for teaching others to judge others.
I trick pastors into licking MyBalls and then sell them on my site for $10 more.
MyBalls come in pairs with free velvet sack for $20
$10 more if a pastor licked them.
For $33 more, you get a cute little pussy. Pouch. The PussyPouch ouch.
MyBalls and the PussyPouch Inc.
We make pouches that look like a vagina. Different color and texture lips and many hair colors.
The zipper is the clit.
Soon to have change purses and beach bags that all look like a vagina. The most beautiful sideway clam look alike on the planet. Ha In our company, we celebrate the pussy. Gods greatest creation is the woman. And her breasts and butt. And the crown jewel, the pussy!!
ORDER YOUR PAIR OF MYBALLS THAT A PASTOR LICKED TODAY!
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